The unofficial song of Halloween, Bobby Pickett’s Monster Mash, starts with a narrator working in a lab—but that’s where the science ends. So a few Fermilab singers got together and recorded a new, physics-themed version.
If you find yourself at karaoke singing the Proton Smash, let us know by tagging @symmetrymag on Twitter.
The Proton Smash
Lyrics:
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld a glorious sight
For my particle beam began to energize
And suddenly, to my surprise
Background vocals: There was a smash
There was an atom smash
The atom smash
It was a particle bash
We did the smash
Jets went off in a flash
We did the smash
We did the atom smash
From my control room where computers gleam
We tuned and twirled the particle beam
The scientists gathered, they wouldn’t hide
How much they love to see things collide
There was a smash
There was a proton smash
The proton smash
It was a particle bash
We did the smash
Jets went off in a flash
We did the smash
We did the proton smash
Bridge: The operators were having fun
It was the start of the run
Who knew what we’d discover
When it was all done?
The detectors recorded what we couldn’t see
While theorists predicted what would come to be
And thinking ahead, some had already made
Shiny new components for the next upgrade
To help us smash
To help the protons smash
To make a smash
The best particle smash
The greatest smash
A real particle mash
To help us smash
To do the proton smash
The data was coming, it flowed in fast
Processed by computers working en masse
The scientists all cried out in delight
They found a bump, a bump in the night
There was a splash
It was a science splash
The proton smash
It was a boson bash
They made a splash
It was shared with panache
They did the smash
We did the proton smash
Researchers danced, they boogied down
To celebrate the new particle they’d found
There was just one hitch in all their plans –
The results were presented in Comic Sans
Now time to smash
There’s much more to smash
The proton smash
It is a particle bash
We like the smash
Hope computers don’t crash
We did the smash
We did the proton smash